I had the great pleasure this week to chat with a longtime design friend Lori Carpenter, Lori Carpenter Design and Founder of the 3rd Phase Podcast. I have spent decades building a career as a couture window treatment expert, educator, and travel curator — and along the way, I’d like to think I figured out how to design a life, not just a career. In our recent conversation, I shared hard-won wisdom on redefining success, saying no, and stepping intentionally into the next chapter. Here are my top takeaways.
Living Vibrantly: Deb Barrett’s Top Tips for Your 3rd Phase
1. Success isn’t a title — it’s freedom of choice.
“Success means gathering experiences and memories to me,” Deb shared. She still works — not because she has to, but because it gives her the ability to choose. In your third phase, success can mean designing a life where work supports what you want, not the other way around.
2. Learning to say no opens more doors than it closes.
Deb admits saying no came with guilt at first — the fear of missing out, of disappointing someone. But once she leaned into it: “It opened up even more opportunities for me.” If you’re stretched too thin, know that stepping back can create room for the right opportunities to show up.
3. Get out of your day-to-day before you try to redefine it.
Her advice for anyone feeling stuck: take a spa day, a retreat, or a trip — and consider a digital detox. “We get so bogged down with all the day-to-day,” she said. Distance creates clarity.
4. Use the skills you already have to plan your next chapter.
As a designer, Deb realized she already knew how to tackle big transitions — using the same process she uses for any project: research, discovery, pitch, execution. Ask yourself: where do I want to end up? Then work backward.
5. Relationships are the real currency of a well-lived career.
“It’s been essential. It’s been critical, and it’s been the best part of doing what I do,” Deb said of her professional friendships. Some of her richest learning didn’t come from seminars — it came from conversations with peers over a glass of wine after a long trade show day.
6. Lean into opportunities, even ones you didn’t plan.
Deb never planned to end up in window coverings — but leaning into unexpected paths led to a career she loves. Her advice: stay open to what comes your way rather than forcing a rigid plan.
7. Redefine what “well-designed” means for your life, not just your work.
For Deb, that now means travel, experiences, and time with her kids and grandkids — including one-on-one “grandma and grandkid” trips she takes with each grandchild at age 11. “It has been one of the best things I’ve ever done,” she said.
8. You still have to do the work — just don’t chase the wrong dream.
Her advice to her younger self: stop chasing recognition or a projected image of success. “No matter what, at the end of the day, you’ve gotta do the work.” Real fulfillment comes from loving what you do, even on the hard days.
Want to hear more from Deb? Listen to the full conversation .
Spotify – https://open.spotify.com/episode/414QOAoSrn3DAaJI4wubgA?si=85cc0e563e3b4e84
Apple Podcasts – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/redefining-success-after-60-career-travel-and-purpose/id1872411926?i=1000787830208Follow me on Instagram @deb_a_barrett
visit debbarrett.com,
or explore my design tours at decortours.com.
What Does Success Look Like in Your 3rd Phase?
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